Wednesday, March 21, 2007

A Day of Mourning, Loss, and Tragedy

The first day of spring for me will forever be tarnished with sadness. My mother passed away this morning, the morning of spring's first day. I was in Social Studies at the time and got a call to go to the office after class. Another call came in for me to go right then. It was about 10:45. I had no idea how serious this was going to be until my neighbor was waiting for me in the hall. Tears were streaming down her eyes as I gaped at her wondering, "What was wrong?" She then told me, "Hurry. It's not good." Shock flew over me as I realized what was happening. I kept thinking, "Oh, God, mom. Please hang on until I get there."
Going twice the speed limit, we finally reached my house. Before the car even stopped I was out and running. Through the open door, up the stairs, not caring who else was there. My dad saw me and said through sobs, "I'm sorry. Mom passed away." Utter shock took over my body and I ran to her screaming, "Promise me you'll look after me!" I didn't care about the police officers (although they probably think I'm a freak now.), I just sat by her and cried. We had been through so much together, and now, after a 4 year fight with ovarian cancer, she was gone from this world forever. I know it sounds strange, but I don't feel sad or guilty. I know it sounds cruel, but I'm happy she passed on. I had a good relationship with her, and I'm happy that her suffering is over.
Over the next few hours, processions of people came to give their condolensces and make their peace. She had her last rites and we said a prayer. I feel like as long as I'm in this house, I will feel her with me. I don't feel empty like I thought I would. I feel at peace and happy. May she finally lead the life she had always wanted: a happy, cancer-free one!

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